Choosing the Right Therapist and Therapy for Your Needs

I authored this article several years ago, in 2011, if my recollection serves me correctly, and its subject matter remains highly relevant. I did add a few notions over the years, however.

The current societal climate is precipitating various internal processes among many individuals, leading to an increased demand for high-quality professional support and assistance. Such resources could prove to be highly beneficial in addressing these emerging needs.

Introduction

It is of paramount importance to carefully consider whom one confides in for assistance with various life challenges, including those related to personal issues, business matters, and intimate relationships. It is essential to recognise that problems are inherently temporary; they can be addressed, improved, and ultimately overcome.

When selecting a therapist, several critical factors warrant consideration. Before making a decision regarding both the therapist and the type of assistance or therapy sought, I encourage individuals to reflect thoughtfully on the questions outlined below.

I am composing this article based on my experiences conducting humanistic and transpersonal (psycho)therapy sessions since 1996, as well as my teaching experience in these fields since 2010.

The market offers a wide array of assistance methods, ranging from abstract new-age approaches to rigorously analytical practices. Additionally, there are countless therapists available to provide support, which is undoubtedly a positive development.

Nonetheless, the question remains: who and what should one select?

My objective is to help you become better informed about your choices regarding therapy and therapists. Consequently, I encourage you to focus on the following areas:

Therapist’s credentials

When evaluating a therapist’s credentials, it is essential to approach promises with caution. Assertions such as, “My success rate is 100%, and all clients are delighted,” reflect a lack of professionalism and maturity on the therapist’s part, irrespective of their educational background or therapeutic approach. Claiming a success rate of 100% in (psycho)therapeutic endeavours is unrealistic and akin to science fiction.

Additionally, should a therapist guarantee the resolution of issues within just two sessions, it is advisable to regard such a promise with scepticism. The therapeutic process often requires numerous sessions—potentially spanning dozens or even hundreds—to achieve meaningful and lasting change.

What level of experience does the therapist possess?
What specific issues has he or she successfully addressed for clients?
What feedback do clients provide about their experiences with him or her?

A sense of ungroundedness, a lack of insight into the mind, emotions, and body, or an overly abstract approach to understanding the root causes of your challenges may all stem from the therapist’s limited life experience. However, these issues could also reflect inadequate training and education.

An important consideration is whether the therapist experiences true happiness and fulfilment in their personal life. It is essential to examine whether the therapist finds genuine satisfaction in themselves. A therapist can guide clients toward achieving happiness and fulfilment only to the degree that they have attained these states in their own lives, irrespective of the therapeutic approach employed, be it mental or analytical, humanistic, or transpersonal.

A therapist who lacks a fulfilling personal relationship—whether it is in the form of a partnership, marriage, or close connection—may encounter difficulties in providing effective assistance in that particular area.

This fact is similarly applicable to various other aspects of life, including financial management, health, work-life balance, leisure activities, and intimacy, among others. Each of these dimensions can significantly influence the therapist’s capacity to guide clients through similar challenges.

Therefore, it’s essential to evaluate how the therapist navigates the areas where you are currently facing challenges.

Working Method

What specific services does the therapist provide? Is it a theoretical and impersonal approach involving the processing of energy related to the aura and chakras, or does it entail more tangible interventions?

It is essential to clarify and understand precisely what the therapist is offering you.

It’s good to know that psychiatric (read: prescribing legal drugs) and analytical or mental approaches (psychoanalysis and its derivatives) and some impersonal New-age and neo-shamanistic energy treatments (which might have nothing to do with your real issues) do not require heartfelt engagement, effort, assuming responsibility and dedication in sessions!

Honestly, how can you truly progress in life if you are not involved and wholeheartedly engaged in that progress, assuming responsibility? I’m asking seriously.

<long pause for thought>

Reflect on this:
Does the therapist (try to) assume responsibility for your life and decisions?
In your sessions, does he or she tell you what’s wrong with you and suggest solutions?
Does the therapist analyse your situation, or do they employ a more modern, realistic, and humanistic approach that empowers you to make choices and take responsibility?

It’s important to recognise that individuals have varying capacities for experiencing reality. Addressing life’s challenges solely through physical, mental, or intellectual means is, of course, acceptable. However, for genuine progress to occur, it is essential to delve much, much deeper.

So what do you want?

Do you want to really, really make lasting progress or only intellectually understand your problems (based on known and lesser-known analytical theories)?

Do you just want to feel better right now, be more energetic, or something more profound and lasting?

Do you want to remove the causes of your problems or, with the help of pills or impersonal energy, just forget about them?

Would you like to pursue genuine and lasting personal transformation, or do you prefer to continually modify external strategies such as clothing colours, rhetoric, and breathing patterns, while still blaming the system and others?

It is essential to consider whether the therapist will genuinely assist you in achieving a greater sense of inner fulfilment or if their approach may lead to a dependency, resulting in a prolonged engagement requiring never-ending financial investment.

Every method has its unique benefits, but ultimately, the key lies in your personal goals for therapy. Understanding what you want to achieve is essential for your journey.
What do you think?

Ethics

What are the fundamental ethical principles that guide a therapist?
Can you expect to receive accurate, professional, and objective support from them, or is it all uncertain and abstract?

Additionally, are there potential “side favours” that might complicate the therapeutic relationship after sessions conclude? This raises concerns regarding the misuse of the therapeutic position concerning clients, particularly in the realms of sexuality, finances, and power dynamics.

It might be important to understand how a therapist responds when a client develops romantic feelings for them, for instance.

Moreover, what are the therapist’s objectives?
The therapist’s approach to clients is crucial.
What do they aim to accomplish by providing assistance to individuals like you at this moment?
Is it merely a financial incentive?
Perhaps they seek self-affirmation through the struggles of others?
Will the therapist cultivate a dependency on their support? Is that something you desire?
Do they offer support beyond scheduled sessions? If so, why?

Do you wish to grow independently, or do you prefer to rely on the therapist?
Will they genuinely help you achieve lasting progress on your own, or will they simply analyse you, label you, and instruct you on how to navigate life, without empowering your freedom of choice?

These are critical nuances of therapeutic work; never overlook them.

The gender

Generally, it is recommended that an individual seek therapy from a practitioner of the same gender. This alignment can facilitate a greater sense of comfort and trust, thereby enabling the individual to engage more readily and openly during the therapeutic process.

Affinity

How do you feel during your initial conversation with a therapist?
Do you find yourself disliking them or questioning their age?
Can you establish a satisfying rapport with them?

Additionally, be mindful of attraction! If you feel a strong physical or intellectual attraction to your therapist, it may hinder your ability to truly engage in working on your issues.

Another important point to consider:
Are you two at least somewhat aligned in terms of state of consciousness?
For instance, if you’ve already reached a greater level of authenticity, traditional psychoanalysts may not be able to assist you effectively. Conversely, if you’re seeking only intellectual understanding and mental relief from your problems, humanistic therapy may be more than you require.

Price Considerations

Is the price acceptable to you?
Is it clearly communicated and valid for an extended period, or does it fluctuate frequently?
Does the therapist require any additional payments or favours?

Take the time to understand precisely what you are paying for! Your life is invaluable, and your money is likely hard-earned.
In short, be cautious of overly ambitious claims and promises (unless that is what you are specifically seeking).

Addressing these questions is essential before you decide to engage a therapist.

Conclusion

It is essential to view therapy and the therapist’s role as supportive mechanisms. One should cultivate self-reliance and tap into one’s intrinsic potential, rather than relying on external influences.

The individual’s capacity for self-development inherently limits the effectiveness of therapy; thus, therapists cannot give you more than you are able to utilise effectively.

What do you think?

– Edmond Cigale, Ph.D
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